I was in a shame bin today. I condemned myself and shamed myself. I was in a battles with my own moral obligation and thoughts and feelings.
I offered myself grace and mercy in this regard. I realised that I am a student and that I am only here to learn. Lessons will be hard, and sometimes easier. Sometimes we will need to reach out to somebody.
I told my best friend about this. And before he knew the whole story the first thing he said was this: Dude, I am so disappointed in you. I never thought I will ever say such to you.
My heart sank for a moment, and I thought:
wait? What do I know?
I know I am ashamed. I know I am disappointed in myself. I know I am not feeling good enough.
Why did I tell this person?
I told this person so he can give me what I need. I need mercy. I need grace. I need compassion. I need a hug. I do not need words. I do not need to be told what I know already. I am already disappointed.
This is your job if someone says something to you and they are in a shame bin:
1. You listen. People need a good listening to.
2. You break off all your expectation of them.
3. You put them to the lowest standard, just like God did and continues to do, that they are human.
If we were called to be human, and we allow our people not to be one what are we actually doing?
Let us lift each other out of the shame bin. Our faces are already muddy. We don’t need more mud on them.