I used to believe in that God with anger issues, the one whom I’d secretly believe was so disgusted in the shameful thoughts I had. The worst part of the deal was that I would be dearly punished for such a mind.
This is the same God I’d ask for protection in my darkest, scariest hours. Sometimes I felt like He came through for me, but that would mean I have to sort of repay this guy. I also battled with telling him that I thought He was kinda mean, and had to get a life. Oh boy! Did I not know that He was creeping on my thoughts?
Where is the liberation? Where is the freedom? When could I wake up and not wonder if He was actually in a good mood today?
My liberation was to be discovered in being honest. It was to be discovered in casting all my cares to Him. I had to honour Him enough to not try and please him.
Glennon said: Acting perfect in church is like wearing make up for an X-ray.
I know that the system only works for two purposes: To remind us that we are actually not crazy and that we are pretty much the same. We’ll be okay!
Lamott in one of her books says, “My belief is that when you’re telling the truth, you’re close to God. If you say to God, “I am exhausted and depressed beyond words, and I don’t like You at all right now, and I recoil from most people who believe in You,” that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said.”
We are closest to God when we are honest.
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