Transgender kid.

Living in a world of selfish people makes life a very long and unpleasant journey.

This is one thing I learnt: I have to use my privilege to speak up about things , before they personally affect me. 

I do not personally know of any transgender kid. But I do know that they have it most difficult. They mostly have it difficult to exist in public places, they feel threatened to use public services. The sad thing is that these are tax paying individuals.

However, this writing is not about that. It is about affirming the existence and the belonging of a trans kid. 

I know that many identify as Christians, which is most likely to have different views, and beliefs, and to make it worse a different treatment towards trans people. If you are Christian and you want to know how to deal and approach homosexuality, you can check it out here.

Dear Trans kid.

I know you mostly feel unloved, and ignored, and unworthy. I should really say that I feel unqualified to write anything like this, but where there is a will there is a way, right?

I need you to understand that your parents love you, parental love is the weirdest thing ever. It is filled with obsessive protection over us that it probably hurts. 

So it is not that our parents fear us, they fear that the world will be cruel to us. They fear that the world will treat and make us feel like we do not belong down here. Religion has succeeded in making the marginalized feel unsafe and unworthy. One thing I love about God is that He\She is not christian nor religion. 

This is what God says, as Martha says: You are always safe, immensely and infinitely loved and you cannot make a mistake.

The sad thing is that this applies to the people who did us badly, but we should not focus our energy on that.

G said that the beginning of scripture says: God created a man and a woman in Her own image. 

This means for God to fully express Herself, she had to have both male and female. This is no different than you, is it? There’s good in this

Remember that it is our responsibility that we ensure that we feel like we belong down here. We are also called to open the path for the next generation to not feel marginalized. 

Claim your space. Show up and fully express yourself. You need no backing from anyone, you are all you’ve got and ever needed. 

The good news is this: We can never deflect a miracle. Love is sovereign here, all evidence to the contrary.

Your existence is a miracle and love is forever present with you. 

 

White supremacy and privilege.

I learnt today that white people have been taught that the world is in a way that they have experienced. This means that they do not have the other lens to look at the worlds, but here’s a good thing: We can always learn.

In every civil rights movement this is what you should know: Whether or not that you would have participated in civil rights movements from the past is if you participate in the civil rights movement taking place today.

If in any case you are able to choose not to hear or be part of the movement this means you are privileged. Privilege simply means having a choice to be part, or not be, of any argument because it does not affect you.

People who are on the receiving end of the ill-treatment cannot help but fight for better. They do not have the privilege to choose whether they should fight or not.

People think white privilege has something to do with a bank account balance, and not having challenges, and getting to college for free. This has nothing to with white privilege!

firstly, the question I think every white person should ask themselves is this: Would you like if you and your family had the same treatment as black people do?

If your answer is no, then it is probably because you are aware of what is happening.

Secondly, what is the unearned respect and access you as a white person have?

When you apply for a job, it is most likely your job application will to not be scrutinized as it would be had you been black. You academic performance would be believed to be more accurate, than it would be the case for a black person. When you walk into a store, you are most likely not to be followed, and believed to be a thief, than it would the case for black man. Cashiers are most likely to give you a better treatment, beginning with a sweet, “Good morning, ma’am.”

For example, I as a man, am most likely to get a job, than a women would- this is privilege from patriarchy.

Thirdly, White supremacy has a lot to do with dominance and power. As a white man you are to be believed that you are better and more knowledgeable by virtue of your skin color. You can go anywhere without being regarded as a foreigner because, the colonizers made sure that whiteness is common.  It cannot be denied that the existed as a result of slavery, which meant dehumanization of black people. It cannot be denied that the wealth we own now, is the result of blood and death of black people. This does not mean you never worked for it, or paid college for it, but it simply means people had worked as slaves, and even died, for you to have access to all these privileges.

 

Lastly, what can you do?

This is what white people can do.

  1. Learn about slavery, white privilege and supremacy.
  2. Start conversations in your own family, with your friends.
  3. Use your privilege in making people accountable to their mistreatment to the marginalized .
  4. Understand the frustrations behind black people, and their anger.
  5. Always have meaningful and compassionate conversations about this.
  6. Follow people whom you know are of a good heart, but they should be aware of this. This could mean you just had a misunderstanding of the concepts or you did not even have knowledge of the fact that you were perpetuating racism in spaces you are in
  7. When you approach this conversation, ensure you meet people where they are.

We cannot erase the history of our grandparents, but we ensure that we are on the right side of tomorrow’s history.

 

 

 

Madiba Day

Though I admire the passion and love people have for uMadiba I still have my own issue.

This day celebrates a huge lie. A lie that overnight people are compassionate and they have passion for giving back. It is a day where Corporate SA and rich people ease their conscious of the marginalised.

Mandela Day does not in anyway change the lives of the people. It is in fact taking advantage of them. We know that the marginalised actually never have any other work, but to receive anything offered to them. We know that they’re vulnerable to any help. We know they’re severely damaged, we also know that they now get to receive food because they can’t plant their own crops. Whites stole from them, and continues to do so. We’re in no way helping or stopping this trade of our brothers and sisters. We still become blacks who enjoy the benefits of whiteness and neglect the transformation agenda in our fancy offices. Black professionals owes black people. Period.
Let’s use this day to add on to our names and our conscious. We do not care for the poor, it is PR for companies and it is make up for individuals.

I know a label of an angry black person will storm out of people’s mouths. However, I think angry is actually a good word. I need to identify myself with this word. What we are angry at, we are able to change.

In two month’s time we should all go check up on the people we have served today. I bet they’d still be hungry, still sad, still broken, still marginalised, still in chains of poverty.

I also bet that we’d still be enjoying our lives.

Let’s go do what we have always done. Living off others!

 

The Gender of God.

The gender of God in my circle of faith is a very burning issue. I still never understand why people are taken off by it. I still don’t understand why should it even be part of discussion when there are other important things to discuss.

Nevertheless, it remains an issue. Every time I address God as a He, my friends get edgy and all hyped up. As a result, I thought I lay it all here why I prefer a She-God.

Firstly, I grew up in a society of strong black women. The love these women had was immeasurable! They looked all these teens and the youth with those compassionate eyes for they have seen it all. This is what God feels like to me. God sounds and feels like grace, and wonder, and mercy.

Secondly, I am very conscious of who wrote the bible, and when was it written. My friends argue that God is displayed as a male figure and thus it means He is male. I find this to be a very last thinking, and a zero use of common sense. The truth is: women have been subdued for ages. The authors of the bible are mostly males. In the ancient times a woman’s job was too basic and simple to be compared to the Devine. The Creator. The Love.

Moreover, the then God is not anything close to Love, and compassion, and mercy, and grace. But very much to do with wrath, punishment, anger.

 

Lastly, God is Devine Spirit. Which is why I never understand why the gender is an issue. Who tries to put gender on a Spirit? Isn’t gender based on a physical form? Aren’t people who wrote the bible human, meaning they have the same shortfalls we have?

Whilst we argue of who is in or who is out, we are missing the most important work which is feeding and clothing the poor, making people feel safe, and seen, and loved.

Can we honestly say our fathers and brothers today are a good image of what God looks and feels like? I think not.

 

 

 

 

 

JUST SHOW UP!

Life has a very funny way of showing us that we need growth, maturity and, sometimes, stability. These are, for sure, the hardest things for me. These mean all sort of hard work, failure, pain, loss, etc.

I figured out that it is sometimes not about achieving. This is not what life requires of us. Life only requires us to show up! We only need to say: I prepared, and now here let me do the work. However, the real question is did you show up on the preparation time?

Sometimes, I need my mind to stop chewing, and chewing, and chewing on how I should maximise productivity. I think the best thing for me is showing up first, I’ll decide and think of productivity once I have showed up.

Showing up for your dreams, your friends is the only best decision you ever make your whole life.

LOVE? REALLY?

‘Love your neighbour as yourself’

For me, it has nothing to do with externalising love.
It has nothing to do with you doing good to and for others.
It also has little to do with it being the greatest commandment.

BUT. It has a lot to do with internalizing love. This is Jesus challenging me to go be the neighbor. This is Jesus asking: Why do you hate yourself this much? This is Jesus saying: Once you fill your cup you will realise that everyone’s cup is full. This is Jesus showing me that almost everything is how I perceive myself rather than others.

This is a challenge. It is hard. Jesus in all conscious and filled with the Holy Spirit knew that this is going to be a hit! Not only have I been conditioned to believe it otherwise, but because I’ve been thinking this is self-love.

REALLY? LOVE? WTF GOD?
Let’s be the right kind of love.

We Question, Life Answers.

There is a time where we are just operating at a minimum, our strength diminishing. We are tired! We are tired of waging on. We are tired of keeping on. We are tired of hoping. We are tired of existing.

Why did our Creator think we can handle life?
Why did our Creator think we can have faith?
Why did our Creator think we are able to fight?

I gave up trying to find answers. I think answers are sometimes toxic. I know that answers are hard work, they need us to dig deeper, and I am surely not up for this.

I think having right question is a good thing. I think we can survive on that. Life is a mystery on its own, we’ll find answers as we live.

We are not the problem. Mother earth is. Why does She operate on such difficult principles?

We are, However, grateful for the mercy. We are also grateful for people who smile at us when we are at our lowest. We don’t need help – I really think we do not.

Yeterday, we sat with hardship for a second. Today, we sat for 1.5 seconds. We are really improving. This has got to be an achievement!
Today, we will talk with ourselves in a way we would had it been our children in this situation. We are going to be merciful towards the self.

We question. Mother Earth will answer.
We sit and accept grace and mercy. Thank God we are only able to do this!

The shame mud!

I was in a shame bin today. I condemned myself and shamed myself. I was in a battles with my own moral obligation and thoughts and feelings.

I offered myself grace and mercy in this regard. I realised that I am a student and that I am only here to learn. Lessons will be hard, and sometimes easier. Sometimes we will need to reach out to somebody.

I told my best friend about this. And before he knew the whole story the first thing he said was this: Dude, I am so disappointed in you. I never thought I will ever say such to you.

My heart sank for a moment, and I thought:

wait? What do I know?
I know I am ashamed. I know I am disappointed in myself. I know I am not feeling good enough.

Why did I tell this person?
I told this person so he can give me what I need. I need mercy. I need grace. I need compassion. I need a hug. I do not need words. I do not need to be told what I know already. I am already disappointed.

This is your job if someone says something to you and they are in a shame bin:
1. You listen. People need a good listening to.
2. You break off all your expectation of them.
3. You put them to the lowest standard, just like God did and continues to do, that they are human.

If we were called to be human, and we allow our people not to be one what are we actually doing?

Let us lift each other out of the shame bin. Our faces are already muddy. We don’t need more mud on them.

Peace on!

Parents crushed your dreams?

We can at least say that our past experiences shaped our present lives and continues to shape our future.
Our parents grew up in a time and in a world that needed survival.  They grew up during a time where dreams are only dreams, not realities.
Our parents grew up in a society that needed them to provide monetary value, no matter how unpleasant the process was.

This is what we can do. We can only forgive them, we forgive them for crushing our dreams. We can forgive our parents for being the best critics to our dreams and creativity.

We fully understand that they were never people who do A.R.T, they had a J.O.B. We fully understand that creativity for them was only a hobby and a way for them to just set a good mood.

Our generation has a lot to do. We've got dreams to achieve and we also have our parents to appreciate and forgive. Our ignorance overlooked their fear which was a result of their experiences.

We thank them for thinking about our future.

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